7 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Less Self-Conscious In Bed

If you give her what she needs, trust us— she'll return the favor

Let's get one thing straight: Missionary sex is awesome. There’s something satisfying and comforting about relying on a position that you've done a thousand times before. But for many of us out there, there are a million things we want to do in bed that we just haven't yet. Maybe you want to do it on the kitchen counter, or maybe you have a secret spanking fetish that you’re just itching to try out. But if your girlfriend's sexual tastes tend to skew more vanilla than Chunky Monkey, it might be hard to approach this topic, lest you insult her or, even worse, scare her away.
If you’re looking to up the ante between the sheets, here are a few tips on how to spice it up to suit your tastes, while at the same time making sure she feels safe and comfortable.
1) Make her feel sexy.
It might go without saying, but let’s say it anyway. If you want your lady to do sexy things, you have to make her feel sexy. Chances are you already feel like she's incredibly sexy, but a little compliment goes a long way. The sexier and more empowered she feels, the more likely she’ll be confident enough to try new things. (And for tips on what you actually should be trying, check out 7 things women wish you knew about sex.)
“Compliment her butt, her breasts, her hair, her eyes — all of the specific areas of her body you love. Of course she is so much more than her glorious body parts, but if you want more adventurous sex, keep the talk unabashedly sexy,” says Holly Richmond, somatic psychologist.
2) Pace yourself.
Jumping right in and telling your girlfriend you’re super interested in trying butt stuff will almost certainly scare her off. If your girlfriend is used to vanilla sex, or has expressed shyness in trying new things, you can’t push her into the deep end without a life jacket. The more confident she feels at each level, the more likely it is that you’ll get to whatever glorious new sex tip or couples' sex toy you'd like to try.
“Go slow and communicate with your partner about what you both are thinking, feeling, and doing. It is essential that you both have open dialogue as any new sexual activity is put on the table,” says Daniel Lebowitz, a sex therapist with The Intimacy Institute. “I oftentimes recommend that a couple talk about a fantasy of theirs, playing it out verbally before trying to make it happen in real life. That way, you can find any roadblocks or topics of discomfort before they actually happen. Concern for your partner and the relationship are indispensable to building trust and safety when exploring sexually.”
3) Tell her what you already like (emphatically).
There’s a chance that if you suggest new moves in the bedroom, your girlfriend might take it to mean that you aren’t satisfied with what you are already doing. Even if that is true, you don’t want to insult her or give her more reasons to be insecure. Complimenting the things about your sex life that you do enjoy will help to open the door for suggestions on how to improve or introduce new ideas, which you can also get from our course on how to have better sex.
“For men who want to be more adventurous, I'd encourage them to open a conversation with their partner about their sex lives. Tell their partner what they like about sex together, for example, starting with something like ‘I can't stop thinking about that thing you did with your tongue the other night!’, and then lead into a conversation about something they'd like to try,” says Debby Herbenick, professor at Indiana University School of Public Health. “Or they could simply say to their partner how much they like or love them (whichever is true), how much they enjoy sex together, and that they've been thinking about new things they'd like to try.”
4) Be specific.
It’s noble to speak up about what you want. But telling your girlfriend that you’d like to be more adventurous in the bedroom is a tad vague, especially for someone who is shy about trying new things. Telling her you like dirty talk is great, but if she’s never done it before she might not know where to begin. Give her specific keywords, for example, that you like to hear to help get her talking. Ask her questions to help guide her. Suggest watching porn together. Ask her if she wants to try introducing sex toys. And when she takes the lead, let her run with it. This should be a give and take.
“Leave open-ended ideas she can explore on her own. There are dozens of books on how to spice things up,” says Emily DeAyala, an AASECT (The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) certified sex therapist. “One of my personal favorites is 101 Nights of Great Sex. The pages are sealed 'for her' and 'for him' so that each partner can take turns surprising each other with something new. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know. Encourage her to get ideas from books like this. This will help her feel more in control.”
5) Enter her Fantasyland
Granted upping the level of adventure in the bedroom is probably about your own personal desires, but if you allow your girlfriend to share her desires, it ups the level of intimacy, trust, and comfort. It's quite literally tit for tat. Encourage your girlfriend to share what turns her on. Coming through for her on her wishes and desires will fill her with confidence and desire to return the favor.
“He might begin the conversation with fantasies. When she masturbates, what does she think about? What turns her on? If she likes porn, what type of porn interests her. Here, he needs to be secure enough in himself that he might learn that what she likes isn't what he can provide,” says Tom Murray, a certified sex therapist and family/marriage therapist. “Nevertheless, fantasies are just that, fantasies. Fantasies may never be realized, nor should they, necessarily. This just begins the conversation and lays the groundwork for exploration.”
6) Talk about your insecurities.
In other words, level the playing field. Being naked, showing your bits, having your bits touch someone else’s bits...it’s fraught with anxiety and insecurity. If your girlfriend is shy in the bedroom, it would greatly help her to know what you feel shy about as well. We all have our insecurities (yes, even you, you sexual stallion, you), and if she knew a few of yours, it might help her to see you as someone she can easily relate to in the sexual realm.
“Although men oftentimes act like they are fine with their body image, the long line of men walking in the door to my office speaking about their struggles with feeling feeling unattractive and unable to measure up in some way would indicate otherwise,” says Lebowitz. “When you share your insecurities, they no longer hold the same power over you and it models how your partner can speak about them to you and mutual support and reassurance can be part of the relationship.”
7) No always means no.
Just because you ask, doesn’t mean she has to say yes. And if she says no, you either have to be OK with that, or you might have to reconsider if this is the right relationship for you. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable in a relationship, especially in the bedroom. Your happiness is just as important as hers, and if neither of you is getting what you want, it might be time to move on. But typically where there is communication, openness, honesty, and trust, mind-blowing sex tends to follow. So don't be shy about asking. You both might be surprised at all the doors that open.

How What You Say on a Date Makes You More Attractive

Intelligence and a good sense of humor can go a long way

When you’re getting ready for a date, you want to look perfect. The inner monologue doesn't stop running through your appearance: Is this shirt wrinkled? Is there anything in my teeth? The list goes on and on. It turns out, your looks aren't necessarily what make you the most attractive to the woman sitting across from you.
Recently, the dating app Plenty of Fish released the findings of Conversation Nation, the largest survey on the topic. More than 2,000 single participants whose ages ranged from 18 to 70 (Up to 70? Did sexagenarians really need to be included here?), and nine out of 10 people believed that a successful date hinged on good conversation.
The top reason conversation makes someone better looking? It’s way easier to be attracted to someone when you aren’t sitting in awkward silence or arguing about politics. Plus it gives you a chance to showcase three attributes women look for when choosing an ideal mate: intelligence, a sexy voice, and a good sense of humor.
Understandably, you’re less likely to find someone attractive if a conversation was completely awful. If you and your date have nothing in common, if they come across rude, or if they don’t share your same values, it’s definitely a turnoff, according to 85 percent of participants.
When it comes to planning a date, you can’t go wrong with suggesting drinks at a local bar or restaurant. And if everything is going well, don’t ruin it by doing something like checking your phone constantly, talking about your ex, or even going outside to take smoke breaks. The survey shows that these actions—especially ignoring your date in favor of texting your buddies—are seen as disruptive and distracting.
If the date went well, call your date to let them know you enjoyed it. More than 80 percent of singles surveyed agree that a phone call constitutes a conversation, and it’s another opportunity to impress them with your communication skills.

How to Attract Someone: Five Scientifically Proven Ways

As it turns out, seduction may be more of a science than an art. Wondering how to attract someone special? Here are five scientifically proven ways.

Humor
Humor is an attractive quality for both men and women, though for different reasons. Recent research shows that women appreciate men who can make jokes, and men prefer women who laugh at their jokes. Why is humor so sexy? A study published in Evolutionary Psychology suggests that a sense of humor is a signal for higher intelligence, which, in a strictly biological sense, is a favorable trait for a partner.
Being Liked
Have you ever had a relationship that you thought was completely platonic, only to discover the other person liked you? How did it make you feel? Science says you probably found the other person more attractive if you learned he or she liked you, even if you even if you ultimately decided against a romance. Psychologist Richard Wiseman discovered that one of the best ways to impress a date was to give the impression that “you were hard to get–and therefore a scarce resource worth having–but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically.”
Sharing Personal Info
What you talk about has a huge impact on potential partners. For example, in one study, 18 percent of people who talked about travel wanted to meet up again, compared with only 9 percent of those who discussed movies. This is because men and women tend to have different tastes in movies, which often leads to arguments. In comparison, a family vacation or friend’s destination wedding elicits happy memories (or at least funny stories) that have a better chance of leading to a bonding moment.
In fact, sharing personal, emotional information can create a deep connection on the very first date. In a one study, people who shared intimate details created a stronger bond within the first 45 minutes of meeting than some people experience with their closest, life-long friends.
Doing Fun Stuff
Nix dinner and a movie and shoot for an activity that gets your blood pumping. Research shows that people associate the adrenaline rush and exciting feelings with the person they’re with, so if you bring your partner on an exhilarating hike or a rock concert, he or she is more likely to experience feelings of romantic attachment.
Love at First Sight
According to Dr. Earl Naumann, if you believe in love at first sight, you have about a 60 percent chance of experiencing it. And of those who do experience it, 55 percent marry that partner, and three-quarters of them stay together. So open up your mind to the possibility of love at first sight.

First Date Danger Zone

Going out with someone new can be exciting—as long as it’s the right someone.

There you are, checking your watch. It’s almost time for another first date to begin. As always, you have high hopes—or at least an open mind—that this one will be different from recent experiences. You mentally check off the ones you promptly inducted into your private First Date Hall of Fame (or is it Hall of Shame?). Here are a few candidates you’ll want to be on the lookout for:
The Ex Factor. This is the person who begins the evening by noticing (out loud) you are wearing the same perfume he gave his ex-girlfriend on their first anniversary. “Weird, huh?” By the end of the evening you will know everything there is to know about her—and almost nothing about him.
The Diva. She was voted most likely to succeed in high school; has trekked the Himalayas in Nepal; sailed solo across the Atlantic; developed a line of gourmet hotel pillow chocolates; and is preparing to audition for “American Idol.” You have no objection to someone who’s led a full and interesting life—but it would be nice to talk about something else during the evening. Anything else besides your date’s long list of amazing accomplishments.
The Digital Dynamo. She thinks “dating” is an app on her iPhone. Before drinks are served at the little bistro you’ve suggested, she’s already texted her mother that she’d love the decor; searched the Internet for food critic reviews; downloaded an article about the chef’s home town in France; tweeted her “friends” that she is sitting down to dinner with—“I’m sorry, what’s your name again? How is that spelled?” The person across from you is so busy pressing buttons that you feel superfluous to the process.
The Potty Mouth. This date is like being back in junior high with a kid who is dying to try out all the new words he’s learned in the locker room. Not to mention the racial slurs and the crude jokes. By night’s end you’ll feel like you’ve been mud-wrestling.
The Survivalist. Getting to know this ray of sunshine reminds you of watching a disaster documentary on PBS. You’ll learn all about the impending ravages of global warming, overpopulation, economic collapse, and killer solar storms—and all the reasons why he hates his job, his apartment, his roommate, and pretty much everything else. Yes, the world is full of problems and perils, but is it necessary to dwell on them during a first date?
The Mannequin. At first glance, he appears to have stepped straight out of GQ magazine. Well-dressed and well-mannered, he seems a refreshing departure from past experience—until you attempt actual conversation. Then it becomes apparent that you have almost nothing in common, in spite of his attractive appearance.
The Fast Tracker. She is intelligent, interesting, and witty—and in a desperate hurry to settle down. Her body language and your intuition combine to warn you that she has already moved past “dating” for its own sake and is ready to pick out “his and hers” bath towels with the first remotely suitable partner.
Of course, these descriptions are one-dimensional stereotypes, but you probably recognize some of your past dates in this list above.  You have had your share of first date disappointments, but there is no need for discouragement—all that experience prepares you for first date you’ve been waiting for. You’ve learned (the hard way) the kind of person you don’t want to spend an evening with, which better equips you to identify the kind of person you DO want to date.
The best part is: You’re more likely to know when you’ve found the right person for a second date . . . and third date . . . and beyond.

Speed Dating

Under Speed dating is defined as a originally from the U.S. method, flirt and make new or
relationship partner, but also to find business contacts. The author (since 1998) Rabbi Yaacov
Deyo, a member of the Orthodox Jewish organization Aish HaTorah is based in Los Angeles
(California, USA). His goal was a contact platform for the Jewish community, so that Jewish
singles can meet more quickly and efficiently, with the prospect of finally getting married and
thus increase the number of Jewish marriages.

To the company founded by Rabbi Deyo speed dating a little later followed speed dating events,
usually business-oriented events with no religious requirement, where male and female singles
participate in the same number, the maximum number of participants for each gender on normally
7-10 persons is limited. Meanwhile, the speed dating enjoys in Germany emerging popularity -
in almost all major cities there are regular events of this kind. In addition to the partner
search results in the possibility, for example when moving to a new city close to fast and
innocuous new acquaintances
Procedure for speed dating
During the whole event gets everyone know every single male single female and vice versa.
For this, the event is divided into rounds, each lasting for about seven to eight minutes.
In this narrow space of time, the singles have the opportunity to get to know each other a
little to interrogate common interests and hobbies, and any desire to have children.
After expiry of the time a bell rings as a sign that asks for change of partners.
At the same time singles record on them previously handed out leaflets, whether their opponent to
see again or not. Now is moved up, so that male and female singles singles sit in a
new constellation opposite. This is repeated until each has talked to everyone again.
After the speed dating singles can decide if they want to see again just to know
the learned singles. Earlier, the organizers gathered for this purpose the previously handed out
paper and evaluated them manually. Many operators, however, are now started to analyze
the speed-dating through an online evaluation form.  One or two days after the speed dating is
the evaluation process usually terminated. At the latest after the deadline will receive
a message about the singles, which again singles of the opposite sex they want. If there is
a match, so the contact between the two singles to be replaced.

5 Date Ideas That Are Better Than Dinner

Scrap the same old boring restaurant dates in favor of something that’s actually fun?

If you ask a woman about her most memorable date ever, chances are she’s not going to mention a dinner. No matter how good the food is, there’s only so much fun you can have when you’re staring at someone across a white tablecloth. For the 800th time. No, the best dates involve some kind of actual activity beyond chewing—a friendly competition, a physical challenge, something that gets her laughing and her blood pumping. So I poured my friends some wine and interrogated them about the best dates they’ve ever been treated to, and will share the smartest ideas here. Next time you really want to impress a lady, try one of these options.
ICE SKATING
Yes, even if you both suck at it—especially if you both suck at it. Really, any activity intended for children ages 9 and under makes for an amazing date. Mini golf, batting cages, go karts, laser tag. It may sound ridiculous for two adults but that’s the point. I dare anyone to flail around an ice skating rink dodging first graders and not have an awesome time. She’ll laugh her ass off and you’ll be the creative guy with a better idea than yet another steak dinner. Afterward, catch your breath at a diner or some other casual joint. Make sure you wear some cologne, so she’ll smell your fresh Invictus fragrance, not the sweat your worked up earlier.
THE ULTIMATE NIGHT IN
OK, so technically this is dinner, but it’s way better than your typical restaurant date. Step 1: Identify her favorite dish—maybe she always orders the cassoulet at that fancy French restaurant you take her to on special occasions, for example. Step 2: Find the recipe. For maximum brownie points, call that French restaurant and beg them for the recipe. Failing that, use Google to find something similar. Step 3: Surprise her with a basket of everything you need for the ultimate date night in: A nice card with the recipe on it, all the ingredients, a candle, wine, and a special gift for her, like this sensual Olympéa perfume.
LEARN EACH OTHER’S HOBBIES
Maybe you’re a fisherman, or she’s a skier. Whatever it is, set a date to have her teach you about what she loves (and schedule another date for your favorite hobby). It’ll be endearing to see her in her element, and vice versa. Plus, by actively trying to learn and understand, it’ll show you care about her. The “teaching” can get intimate, too, which is never a bad thing.My friend Jen’s boyfriend took her to a gun range on their second date. “It was oddly romantic,” she says. “He showed me how to properly hold the guns, how to stand and brace, and he was so proud when I did well.” (Note: Not every girl is as game as Jen to go to a gun range. Make sure you ask, don’t tell, her about this date idea.)
BASEBALL GAME
This makes for a great first or second date—provided she has at least a passing interest in sports and/or sitting in the sunshine with a beer. Baseball is slow enough to give you plenty of time to have get-to-know-you conversation, but without any awkward pauses, because there’s always a game to watch. Plus there’s none of the stiff formality of an upscale restaurant. Casual settings always make for easier conversation.
SURPRISE EXCURSION
Tell her to meet you at 9 a.m. but don’t tell her what for. Then surprise her with day exploring a locale an hour or so away. Maybe it’s the wine country upstate, a beach town she’s never been to, or hell, even a neighborhood in your city that you’ve always meant to check out. Wherever you are, there's probably a place within a 30- to 40-mile radius with something fun to offer, even if it’s just novelty. Pick one, and plan to spend the day wandering and exploring what the region has to offer. Even if it’s a podunk place with nothing but a rundown coffee shop, it'll give you both a sense of adventure.

Welcome to Dating Blog

You may want to know whose advice you read before you take some of them seriously.
First of all, I am a man, I'm not a Casanova or a womanizer, but I came out already
with a lot of women have gained the necessary experience. The information on
this page fit for both men and women. The emphasis is on men but surely.
For me, dating was something very important. I have not really fallen. I had to work
very hard to get where I am today. It is my definite conviction that one can learn dating.
If you want to improve your dating skills, you are dead right. I have the trip you take now,
already been made: dating newbie to dating guru. Most of my current appointments was
very successful and if they do not, it was likely as not to me. So welcome to
this Siete and I hope I help you with your dating life is something!
Catch the best of it, read the article "The First Date."
If you master this, you will be destined for "Tips for First Dates" and
"interested in dating rules."
If you have ascended to dating professional and have lots of appointments,
you should inform yourself about what's important to note when you
"go out simultaneously with several people."