How What You Say on a Date Makes You More Attractive

Intelligence and a good sense of humor can go a long way

When you’re getting ready for a date, you want to look perfect. The inner monologue doesn't stop running through your appearance: Is this shirt wrinkled? Is there anything in my teeth? The list goes on and on. It turns out, your looks aren't necessarily what make you the most attractive to the woman sitting across from you.
Recently, the dating app Plenty of Fish released the findings of Conversation Nation, the largest survey on the topic. More than 2,000 single participants whose ages ranged from 18 to 70 (Up to 70? Did sexagenarians really need to be included here?), and nine out of 10 people believed that a successful date hinged on good conversation.
The top reason conversation makes someone better looking? It’s way easier to be attracted to someone when you aren’t sitting in awkward silence or arguing about politics. Plus it gives you a chance to showcase three attributes women look for when choosing an ideal mate: intelligence, a sexy voice, and a good sense of humor.
Understandably, you’re less likely to find someone attractive if a conversation was completely awful. If you and your date have nothing in common, if they come across rude, or if they don’t share your same values, it’s definitely a turnoff, according to 85 percent of participants.
When it comes to planning a date, you can’t go wrong with suggesting drinks at a local bar or restaurant. And if everything is going well, don’t ruin it by doing something like checking your phone constantly, talking about your ex, or even going outside to take smoke breaks. The survey shows that these actions—especially ignoring your date in favor of texting your buddies—are seen as disruptive and distracting.
If the date went well, call your date to let them know you enjoyed it. More than 80 percent of singles surveyed agree that a phone call constitutes a conversation, and it’s another opportunity to impress them with your communication skills.

How to Attract Someone: Five Scientifically Proven Ways

As it turns out, seduction may be more of a science than an art. Wondering how to attract someone special? Here are five scientifically proven ways.

Humor
Humor is an attractive quality for both men and women, though for different reasons. Recent research shows that women appreciate men who can make jokes, and men prefer women who laugh at their jokes. Why is humor so sexy? A study published in Evolutionary Psychology suggests that a sense of humor is a signal for higher intelligence, which, in a strictly biological sense, is a favorable trait for a partner.
Being Liked
Have you ever had a relationship that you thought was completely platonic, only to discover the other person liked you? How did it make you feel? Science says you probably found the other person more attractive if you learned he or she liked you, even if you even if you ultimately decided against a romance. Psychologist Richard Wiseman discovered that one of the best ways to impress a date was to give the impression that “you were hard to get–and therefore a scarce resource worth having–but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically.”
Sharing Personal Info
What you talk about has a huge impact on potential partners. For example, in one study, 18 percent of people who talked about travel wanted to meet up again, compared with only 9 percent of those who discussed movies. This is because men and women tend to have different tastes in movies, which often leads to arguments. In comparison, a family vacation or friend’s destination wedding elicits happy memories (or at least funny stories) that have a better chance of leading to a bonding moment.
In fact, sharing personal, emotional information can create a deep connection on the very first date. In a one study, people who shared intimate details created a stronger bond within the first 45 minutes of meeting than some people experience with their closest, life-long friends.
Doing Fun Stuff
Nix dinner and a movie and shoot for an activity that gets your blood pumping. Research shows that people associate the adrenaline rush and exciting feelings with the person they’re with, so if you bring your partner on an exhilarating hike or a rock concert, he or she is more likely to experience feelings of romantic attachment.
Love at First Sight
According to Dr. Earl Naumann, if you believe in love at first sight, you have about a 60 percent chance of experiencing it. And of those who do experience it, 55 percent marry that partner, and three-quarters of them stay together. So open up your mind to the possibility of love at first sight.

First Date Danger Zone

Going out with someone new can be exciting—as long as it’s the right someone.

There you are, checking your watch. It’s almost time for another first date to begin. As always, you have high hopes—or at least an open mind—that this one will be different from recent experiences. You mentally check off the ones you promptly inducted into your private First Date Hall of Fame (or is it Hall of Shame?). Here are a few candidates you’ll want to be on the lookout for:
The Ex Factor. This is the person who begins the evening by noticing (out loud) you are wearing the same perfume he gave his ex-girlfriend on their first anniversary. “Weird, huh?” By the end of the evening you will know everything there is to know about her—and almost nothing about him.
The Diva. She was voted most likely to succeed in high school; has trekked the Himalayas in Nepal; sailed solo across the Atlantic; developed a line of gourmet hotel pillow chocolates; and is preparing to audition for “American Idol.” You have no objection to someone who’s led a full and interesting life—but it would be nice to talk about something else during the evening. Anything else besides your date’s long list of amazing accomplishments.
The Digital Dynamo. She thinks “dating” is an app on her iPhone. Before drinks are served at the little bistro you’ve suggested, she’s already texted her mother that she’d love the decor; searched the Internet for food critic reviews; downloaded an article about the chef’s home town in France; tweeted her “friends” that she is sitting down to dinner with—“I’m sorry, what’s your name again? How is that spelled?” The person across from you is so busy pressing buttons that you feel superfluous to the process.
The Potty Mouth. This date is like being back in junior high with a kid who is dying to try out all the new words he’s learned in the locker room. Not to mention the racial slurs and the crude jokes. By night’s end you’ll feel like you’ve been mud-wrestling.
The Survivalist. Getting to know this ray of sunshine reminds you of watching a disaster documentary on PBS. You’ll learn all about the impending ravages of global warming, overpopulation, economic collapse, and killer solar storms—and all the reasons why he hates his job, his apartment, his roommate, and pretty much everything else. Yes, the world is full of problems and perils, but is it necessary to dwell on them during a first date?
The Mannequin. At first glance, he appears to have stepped straight out of GQ magazine. Well-dressed and well-mannered, he seems a refreshing departure from past experience—until you attempt actual conversation. Then it becomes apparent that you have almost nothing in common, in spite of his attractive appearance.
The Fast Tracker. She is intelligent, interesting, and witty—and in a desperate hurry to settle down. Her body language and your intuition combine to warn you that she has already moved past “dating” for its own sake and is ready to pick out “his and hers” bath towels with the first remotely suitable partner.
Of course, these descriptions are one-dimensional stereotypes, but you probably recognize some of your past dates in this list above.  You have had your share of first date disappointments, but there is no need for discouragement—all that experience prepares you for first date you’ve been waiting for. You’ve learned (the hard way) the kind of person you don’t want to spend an evening with, which better equips you to identify the kind of person you DO want to date.
The best part is: You’re more likely to know when you’ve found the right person for a second date . . . and third date . . . and beyond.